Many owners think that their cats are giving them the cold shoulder when they turn their backs and avoid eye contact or interaction after being scolded. However, contrary to popular belief, this behaviour doesn’t result from wounded pride or a desire to get revenge by giving an owner the silent treatment. This misconception stems from a misunderstanding of feline communication.
To Cats, Staring Can Be Threatening
When a cat stares at another cat, she’s behaving in a dominant manner and challenging her rival. When two cats are locked in a battle for dominance, both may stare, as neither wishes to show weakness. Eventually, the subordinate cat will look away, conceding victory to the dominant cat. If neither cat looks away, a fight may break out.

A semi-feral kitten looks sulky or angry, but is actually frightened and defensive; fearful cat expressions are often mistaken for signs of surliness or aggression
Given the size of the owner in comparison to the cat (and the fact that the owner provides the cat with food), the cat is likely to view the owner as more powerful, and therefore dominant. When her human companion is behaving in what the cat perceives to be a hostile or aggressive manner (i.e., raising his voice) while staring directly at the cat, the cat feels threatened. She will turn away and avert her eyes to signal submission and avoid provoking further hostility.
This is why scolding or punishing cats tends to be ineffective. The cat perceives this behaviour as threatening and retreats, and the resulting anxiety provokes another round of undesirable behaviour rather than preventing it. Cats respond far better to positive reinforcement for good behaviour than punishment for bad behaviour.
Reference: Morris, D. (1987). Catlore. London, UK: Jonathan Cape Ltd.
For more articles on the way cats think and the reasons they do the things they do, visit the main Cat Psychology, Communication, and Behaviour page. For a full list of cat articles, see the main Cats page.
My kitten who is 4months old bin out in the garden it was raining my husband brought her in I got her 2towels rubbed her down now she’s sulking won’t come near me can you tell me why
She’s probably just upset about the towel rub-down, so she’s keeping to herself for a little while. A lot of cats don’t like being dried off with towels.
My cat won’t come near now spend whole day in its bed what must i do to get to play again
If a cat that was formerly active spends all day in bed, this may indicate a medical problem rather than an emotional reaction. I recommend consulting a veterinarian if your cat has become lethargic and won’t get out of bed.